You millionares with your financial affairs

I'm hoping to do a quick post, as I have a headache that's making my head spin.

The last few days have been pretty good. Today was wonderful. For some reason, the warm weather has put me in a semi-productive mood, and I cleaned out my car today. Yes, you read correctly: I cleaned my car. It looks pretty dashing, if I do say so myself. It took 2 trashbags to clear out all of my crap that I wanted to keep (like clothes and shoes), and a bag and a half of straight-up trash. But my car looks awesome. I went with David and Mary to see The Pajama Game and Jamestown High, and it was stellar. It totally blew LHS out of the water.

But enough of the good stuff. People have been irritating me lately. Well, not people. Just one person. He accuses me of not knowing how to be committed to stuff, and accusing me of letting my boyfriend fight my battles, and saying all of this terrible stuff to me, yet he doesn't realize that he's being a complete hypocrite. I tried being nice to him, I tried getting him to see my side of the story while I'm seeing his, I've tried defending him to other people, but I'm done with that. I'm done being his friend. But of all the things he said to me, the worst was when he said, "Kelsey, you don't know what it's like to be smart and want to go to college." I didn't know how to respond. He's known me for just a few months, and I don't feel like he can judge my intelligence and wants based on what little he knows about me. I nearly started crying because no one has ever said anything that hurtful to me before. I knew that what he said wasn't true. I know I'm a smart young woman, and I know that I do want to go back to college as soon as I get my life in better shape. He continued on saying that I don't know what it's like to have something that I'm truly passionate for and to have someone that you love with all of your heart and loves you back. The last part really threw me off since he's dating a minor, which probably won't last and may end up badly, as I told him when he asked me my opinion on him seeing this particular girl. Plus, I'm pretty sure I know how it feels to feel passionate about something. I wouldn't spend so much time working on songs and lines if I wasn't passionate for the theater. I wouldn't put as much money as I can into improving myself if I wasn't passionate. I wouldn't go to rehearsals after a 50-hour work week in the rain while sick if I wasn't passionate. But he doesn't go to his races if he has a sniffly nose. As for the "letting my boyfriend fight my fights" thing, Chris only stepped in when he saw how visibly upset I was on my vacation. Yet he doesn't even let his girlfriend start her fights before he's attacking others, whether they're involved or not. I feel like I'm being cast into the fire without so much as a defense, and it's so frustrating and angering. I just don't understand what I've done to warrant such attacks. I was always so kind and friendly to him. I got him a couple of the roles he really wanted, and this is how I'm being repaid. Maybe I just expected too much and now I'm just getting burned again. I don't know. But I feel like I have a right to be angry, especially when he attacks me like this during my vacation.

But now I'm going to try to sleep. I work tomorrow from 915 to 4, then Backstage from 6-10. We'll see how things turn out there. There's bound to be a lot of drama tomorrow.

By the way, Eucalyptus is fantastic for headaches. I bought a Eucalyptus-scented candle today at Yankee Candle, and I lit it right before I started typing, and my headache's almost gone.

First Legit Post In...Years...

I remember a time where I used to post to LiveJournal. Talk about a blast from the past. I read over them a few months ago when someone came back into my life and made me question everything I had worked at over the last year-ish that he had been out of my life, seeing if there was anything I wanted to go back to in my "former life." But upon reading and talking with some close friends, I realized that I had everything I wanted now, except stuff like money and my own place. But I digress. My life then was kind of depressing and longing for so much more. Granted, I still long for some of those things, but I'm a changed person, and I like who I am. Of course, I still have my emotional-psychotic times (as Chris so wonderfully helped me through yesterday somewhere between Manassas and Richmond), and I still have so much more to work for, but I'm happy with where I am in my life. So much has gone so horribly wrong for me, but it's been for the best. I've really discovered who I am and I've discovered that for the most part, I really like myself. I feel proud being able to say that because there's so many other people my age who can't honestly say that about themselves. But I think I'm getting too intense for my first post :-D

I'm pretty excited for all of the new stuff going on and coming up. I'm starting my 5th season at Busch Gardens, and as strange as it sounds to say it, I love my job at a theme park. I have to give a lot of credit to the fact that I work with some amazing people, and I've learned so much about myself in the last year of being a part of the leadership team. I have three shows going up soon (pretty much the same weekend), and I have substantial roles in two of them, so that's not only awesome, but a little overwhelming. Then I have The Sound of Music going up the weekend of July 10 where I'm playing Maria. Holy freaking cow is that cool. My boyfriend's 26th birthday is also that weekend (July 9), so I'll have more opportunities to fulfill my never-ending quest to make him feel ancient. Then two of my best friends are getting married to the men of their dreams within weeks of each other, and I'm so honoured to be part of their weddings. Then one of them is moving with her new husband to Boston, which will be weird (that's for another blog). Then in November, my mom and I are making plans to go to Germany and the dates we're looking at just happen to fall during my 22nd birthday. How cool would it be to celebrate your 22nd birthday in freaking Germany? Very. Of course, the fact that my little brother will probably be studying abroad there at the same time helps with that decision some. Then I have Christmas Carol in December (should I decide to do it again), and I think we might be starting The Secret Garden, in which I've been cast for the role of Lily.

I guess I should head to bed now since I have some major house cleaning to do tomorrow by 5. Oh the joys of living rent-free at home!