A New Series: Thought-Provoking Questions

Oh StumbleUpon...how you provide hours of entertainment! On this one occasion, StumbleUpon took me to a site entitled "25 Beautifully Illustrated Thought-Provoking Questions." It's quite an interesting and thought-provoking (*gasp!*) site, fully of amazingly simple questions that could lead you down a very inspiring thought path. For the next few weeks, I'm going to try to answer one of these questions every day (except for the days I'm going to be in Germany, so I'll be taking a week off).

Today's question:

How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

This, I think, is a very interesting question because we are always told from a young age to "act your age." We've grown up with these thoughts and ideas of what someone our age is supposed to behave like, but what if we didn't know this sort of thing? What if behaving "normally" is actually abnormal, as in not the way we're intended to behave by nature. If we go down that path, we have medical and technological advances to thank for our extended years. Not too long ago, a woman at my age (twenty-two) would have been married with at least two children by now, raising the children and teaching any daughters how to become home makers themselves. Years before that, I would be living my golden years, as the life expectancy wasn't much beyond age 30. I mean, if you're battling triceratops and mammoths every day for food, water, and shelter, your life expectancy wouldn't be too long, either (and yes, I know I'm over-exaggerating a little right now and Jessi's probably having a brain aneurism, but it's sort of a figure of speech). But nowadays, a woman doesn't usually get engaged until she's about 24 or 25, married sometime between 25 and 30, and may not pop her first kid out til she's 36. A couple hundred years ago you'd be old if you were 36.

I guess all in all, the question is really quite difficult to answer. Would you behave like a child if there were no social restrictions on age, or would you simply mature at a natural rate? It's hard to figure that out on my own without a much more extensive knowledge of child and adult psychology, sociology, and a bunch of other courses I didn't really pay any attention to in school.

I suppose I'll go ahead and treat you to another Q&A, since I'm a little bored in the middle of the night and WIDE AWAKE.

Question 2
If you had the opportunity to get a message across to a large group of people, what would your message be?

For me, that question has always been pretty easy. My message would be simple in delivery, but difficult in following through with. My message is this: "We are all human. We should just accept each other for our minor differences."

Could you imagine how different the world would be if everyone just got along, or even better, cared for each other? We'd have no more wars against other countries, we wouldn't battle with our peers regarding race or sexuality, we wouldn't have a constant need to piss off our annoying neighbors, we wouldn't have hunger or distrust or poverty. We'd all be equal. So many of our problems would be solved if everyone just got along.

But I know that won't happen. We'd be creating an impossible Utopia. We have conflict. We have distrust. We have discontent. We have ignorance. We have the constant need to add more and more Christmas lights simply to irritate the neighbors with the sticks up their butts. That's just how humans are.

Love and Other Drugs, Tangled, and The Lion King

I've been very cultured lately (at least in my own mind :-P). My reviews for today are Tangled, Love and Other Drugs, Burlesque, and the musical The Lion King.

Tangled Adorable from beginning to end. And also the source of my new animated crush (sorry Aladdin). The action, romance, and animation was fantastic, and the cute musical quality of it was perfection. Mandy Moore was the perfect decision for Rapunzel. AND!!! Did you know that Kristen Chenowith was originally asked to voice Rapunzel, but declined?!?! I'm a huge Chenowith fan (April Rhodes was the definition of perfection), but I couldn't imagine Rapunzel with a squeaky voice. Moore's voice just added a little flair of spunk without the obnoxious fairy-tale sort of voice that Chenowith's voice tends to bring (not to mention the fact that Moore is significantly closer in age to Rapunzel). Also, my new favourite animated pet, introducing THE CHAMELEON!!! Sorry, Abu. I've seen the movie twice in 2D, and I'd love to see it in 3D ASAP (hellooooo lantern scene!).

Love and Other Drugs. Saw this last night with Jessi. Definitely a fantastic movie, but I wouldn't recommend seeing it with your parents, conservative friends, in-laws, or anyone you wouldn't feel comfortable talking about sex with. Mainly because this movie has A TON of sex in it. Now, it's not done untastefully, but there's just a lot of sex and nudity of it. I mean, I'm not entirely complaining about seeing Jake Gyllenhaal nude several times (he's mine and Jessi's new celebrity crush), and Anne Hathaway definitely holds her own next to him. My mom mentioned yesterday at dinner going to see the movie with me tonight (BTW, Tuesdays are $5 movies at New Town), but after seeing it last night with Jessi, I love you dearly, Mom, but I don't want to see this with you. On a slightly more somber note, it does deal with the effects Parkinson's has on relationships and how it effects the person with the debilitating disease. Watching Hathaway's character struggle with her Parkinson's was heartbreaking, and I hurt for her, especially in the scene where she was trying desperately to open her pillbottle that held the relief from the shaking, only to find it was empty. I highly recommend the film for everyone looking for laughs, love, sex, and the emotional look into Parkinson's.

Burlesque. I'm a musicals girl. We all know this very well. I have also been a huge Christina Aguilera fan since I got her self-titled "Christina Aguilera" CD waaaayyyy back in the 90s...like I still listen to that stuff today. Cher I think is just a funny-looking person, but I adored her character Tess. The music was amazing, the dance was stellar, the costumes I envy, and Aguilera's voice I would kill for. All of the strengths of the performers were showcased perfectly, but I wish we could have had more screen-time for Diana Agron, who played Cam Gigandet's character Jack's fiancee, Natalie. In the two seconds that she was on-screen, we barely glimpsed her face as she yelled at Jack about cheating and stuff like that, and Agron is just too gorgeous for that (Gleeks will recognize Agron as Cheerios captain Quinn Fabray). Also, I would have liked more screen-time for one of my favourite ballroom dancers, Julianne Hough (perhaps I'm biased because I get like a teenage girl when I see her brother, uber-sexy Derek Hough do his thing on Dancing With the Stars). All in all, I really liked the movie, and would see it again on someone else's dime.

The Lion King. My mom bought tickets to see the Broadway tour for myself, Grandma, and herself as a Girls Night Out/Birthday present. First of all, I have been DYING to see The Lion King since I first saw advertisements of it years ago. I've seen pictures of it, but absolutely NOTHING does it justice until you see it in real life. I was on the edge of my seat the entire time. The costumes and sets are just stunning, and the actors (even the kids playing Young Simba and Nala) were fantastic. Julie Taymor is pretty much awesome, as Rebecca would agree. This woman not only directed the musical, but she is the costume designer, mask/puppet co-designer, and did additional lyrics. She's friggin beast. The music was beautiful (my heart melted during "Can You Hear the Love Tonight?" and "Shadowland" ) And who can't just adore Rafiki, who was played by Brenda Mhlongo. J. Anthony Crane, who played Scar, was superb. My only comment for him was that I wasn't thrilled with the way he said some of his lines. I wish I could do voice recordings of how they were done and how I would have preferred them, but I'm not very technologically advanced yet. But he's also a pretty cool guy, too. I got a picture with him after the performance (trust me, the theater nerd in me was doing handsprings). Nick Cordileone, who played Timon, was a riot, as was his partner, Ben Lipitz, who played the gaseous Pumbaa. Tony Freeman, as Zazu, was wonderful, clad in all-blue (even a blue bowler), and a puppet for Zazu. Adam Jacobs, who played older Simba, was gorgeous and talented and could MOVE. Sydnee Winters, as Nala, killed "Shadowland," and pretty much convinced me that I could sing the song as well. She's that awesome. And what would a complete review be without the three hyenas, all of whom were fantastic and hilarious(I had forgotten that Shenzi was a girl). Oh, and the "Stampede! In the Gorge! Simba's down there!" scene was just fantasic, creative-wise and executed beautifully. I'd love to see the show again to pick up on things that I missed the first time.

Oh, I forgot to also mention Unstoppable. I've heard it's pretty good, but my Choo-Choo friends Nathan and Brian were quick to point out the things that were wrong with the movie (like a throttle thing moving by itself) and other inconsistencies. What can I say? I'm friends with train nerds. But I love them dearly nonetheless.

Well, now that I've kind-of reviewed some of the stuff I said I'd review (and threw in a bonus), I'm going to do something productive. Maybe.

And when I touch you, I feel happy inside

It's strange how random Facebook surveys sometimes inspire a blog. This particular blog was inspired by a relatively simple question on one such survey, but when I asked myself the question, I ended up getting a rather surprising answer.

Are you afraid of falling in love?

Most answers would be a simple yes or no. If only my internal answer had been that easy. My answer was "I've already fallen in love, but I'm still scared."

Who the heck answers stuff like that? Me, apparently.

When people start falling in love, they're letting down walls they've built up over the years. They're allowing someone to see a truly vulnerable side to them that is, quite frankly, terrifying.

At the point in the relationship where Chris and I are, there's so much we know about each other. We know each others' goals in life, our hopes, our aspirations, our fears, our deepest secrets. Things that if they got into the wrong hands, could destroy the person. He knows things about me that would make many of my friends cringe. I know things about him and his personality that most other people don't know and would scare them. Not to say we're bad people, but everyone has their dark secrets and personality traits that are usually kept under wraps and well-hidden. But when you're on the verge of an engagement, you've revealed these things to the other person, and there's no going back. There's no un-saying those things that you've revealed that could be used against you.

I've always found that the most scary things in life aren't bees or small dogs, but the things you reveal to those you love, making you a vulnerable person because that stuff you reveal is a potential weapon of your ultimate destruction. All of my friends know various parts of my life that could destroy me in a single, swift action, but none of them are even comparable to the things Chris knows about me and could destroy me with.

But I love him. I don't ever foresee myself doing anything to him that would make him come anywhere near to wanting to reveal these secrets to the public.

And he loves me, despite all of these dark secrets, and that's what makes the risk worth it.

Just so we're on the same page...

Originally I had a rather lengthy blog about random crap going on in my life. But I've decided to delete it all because I'M REALLY FUCKING PISSED.

Not only was I treated really unfairly all summer at my job, but then I was not told by a human that I was working during the Christmas season. Last I had heard, I was on the waitlist. Then I get a text message from our scheduling program that I was working last weekend, so I had to get all of my crap together after confirming with my supervisors that I was, in fact, working. Now, I'm not pissed that I'm working. I'm upset that I wasn't given a phone call instead of receiving a text message from an automated service. Then, I get scheduled to work a weekend of a show that I asked to have off in my availability. So I send a supervisor a text message...two days ago...and I just heard back. They at least acknowledged it was their fault, but now to make up the hours they messed up, I have to give up going to Christmastown on Saturday with my parents and grandmother, who hasn't been to Busch since the Stone Age. So she and I were just talking about it when she dropped off the newspaper, and she said, "Well, it's a wonder they put up with you taking so much time off for all of your theater stuff." FUCKING. BITCH. I ask for ONE FUCKING WEEKEND OFF every few months. I work Sundays after rehearsals. I work Fridays before classes and rehearsals. I PUT IN 60 HOURS A WEEK WHEN I CAN. And you tell me I should give up the one activity I have in my life that I enjoy so thoroughly so I can sell my soul to the corporate world I loathe so much? NO FUCKING THANKS. Backstage and Theatre is the one thing I have in my life that I do for ME, to keep ME sane...to keep ME from killing other people. It's the one place I can be ME and be loved and appreciated for being ME. I can't do that at work. I have to put on this air of "Oh my gosh, I LOVE working in 110* heat for 15 hours a day! I love guests and all of their stupid shit! I love being overworked, underpaid, and severely underappreciated!" So if you don't want to support me in my theater and stage work, then fine, don't. Don't come to my shows. Don't ask me how my auditions are going. DON'T TALK TO ME ABOUT IT. BUT BY NO MEANS SHOULD YOU EVER PUT IT DOWN TO MY FACE. Because you will lose.

You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one...

Right now I'm taking a break from cleaning my room (still), and I just can't get "The Sound of Music" out of my head. I honestly can't remember the last time I was this excited to start a show. It almost seems like Sunday can't get here fast enough; the week is dragging along and it's only Wednesday. I guess maybe I'm excited about the fact that it'll be my first starring role and I'll have a bunch of solos, and I get to work with an amazing cast with an amazing co-star, who I met this past Sunday. I think he'll be awesome as the Captain.

But I'm also really nervous. We have a lot fewer rehearsals than we're used to because of August scheduling conflicts, so I'm really hoping I can learn all my lines and blocking in time. I'm sure I will, but I'm still nervous.

On another note, I'm staying at Jess's this weekend while my parents are doing a home exchange to NoVa. I'm sure it'll be awesome if we actually get to see each other :-D But it's sad knowing she's going to be moving up to Boston a lot sooner than originally expected. She's one of my best friends, and I'm just hoping the same won't happen with her that happened with Jamie. I know she's much better at keeping in contact with people, so it might be easier to stay close to her. I guess I'm just scared of losing her. But whatever's meant to be will work itself out in the end.

Busch ended its two-week Spring Break run. As fun as it was, I'm so glad for a break before the season starts up. Just all of the craziness of the hot (and cold) weather, the crowds of people, difficult team members, unexpectedly having to jump in position and Griffon and Alpie...it's tiring. I honestly don't know how I did it last summer. I guess I got so used to it that it just became second nature to be tired and overworked, but for right now, I'm just trying to get used to working full-time again. But I'm certainly looking forward to peak season, don't get me wrong. The possibility of a new partner, a new location, or promotion excites me. I just really hope that if I get transferred, I go to a roller coaster (specifically Griffon or Apollo).

But with all these things starting up soon (work and SoM), it means I'll have less time to spend with Chris. We already see each other so rarely that I worry about never seeing him during the summer. Not having rehearsals or working on Sundays really worked well over the last few months, but I guess now we'll both have to bite the bullet and ask for days off to see each other. I feel bad that my schedule is so hectic that I never see him, and I think he pretends to understand, but I think he just says it to make me happy. I know he misses me (I know I sure miss him like crazy), and I'd be so ecstatic if he'd get an apartment down here. I'd certainly move in with him if he did. But I already know he won't do it because of his job in Richmond, so we'll just have to resign ourselves to strategic planning way ahead of time.

By the way, Julie Andrews pretty much rocks.

In spite of everything, I believe that people are really good at heart.

This evening was the premiere of the Masterpiece Classic "Anne Frank" on PBS. I was originally skeptic because I'm so attached to my production several years ago of the stage version and I thought that nothing could ever make me feel those same emotions I felt when I was Mrs. van Daan. But the show not only met all of my expectations, but surpassed them. The acting was so emotional and raw that I felt so strongly for the people that were forced into those situations. It made me hurt for their pains and difficulties, and it makes me sick to think of what my people, the Germans, have put innocent people through. What really amazed me was that she was always so hopeful. Even though Mrs. van Daan would scream about the Germans coming and killing them all, or Peter's quietness, or her mother's disapproval, she always tried to remain cheerful and hopeful, despite everything seeming to go against her.

But through all of these feelings, I also was inspired. One of Anne's entries was that she wanted to go on living after she's dead. It makes me realize that although I'm going through things personally, it's unlikely I'll be remembered a few years after my death, and that scares me. I always hoped that anything I wrote would one day be looked back upon and people would say that I had written something amazing and had provided some sort of insight into my times, but I haven't experienced something first-hand that has changed the course of history. Not to mention, I also am not quite the eloquent writer that Anne was. I guess that all I can hope for is to continue with remembering her and what she and millions of others had to go through in one of the worst times of history so that it may not be repeated now or ever.

"How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world. "

I'll top the bill...

I love my job. I love the people I work with. But sometimes, it's the guests that piss me off.

For example, all three of the main rides in Area 4 have had problems in the past week, and they were all shut down at the same time on Saturday (I believe). On Facebook, Busch apologized for the rides being down, and extended their operation by a half hour to allow guests the chance to ride those rides for an extra amount of time. Yet people are posting stuff like, "OMG, the rides are broken. They're not safe. Blah blah blah." But it's not true. Yes, we were having minor problems with the rides and yes, it's inconvenient that it's happened all at once, but it certainly doesn't mean that our rides are unsafe. They're inspected every morning for safety, and if something's not right, maintanence works to get the ride to the high standards we try to uphold every day. We understand that it's frustrating that guests pay a decent amount of money to enter the park and some of our rides are down, but it's not like we're just standing around doing nothing. We try to get things fixed as quickly and safely as possible. We try to suggest other rides and shows to check out while the ride is down. And a good team member knows exactly who to get a hold of to find out if the ride is back up. All we ask is that the guests are understanding and helpful when we're dealing with a shut down. Please don't demand a supervisor when we're shut down because we have much more important things to deal with, such as maybe a ride escort. Don't yell at the team members because they're trying to communicate with you all the information they know. Sometimes we don't know much about what's going on or how long the ride will be down, but we're honest with you.

As for Busch taking out Wolf, it was done for very good reasons. The ride was old, and it experienced much different forces than Loch Ness because it was a completely suspended roller coaster, causing it to have a significantly shorter life span than it's older counterpart. Busch won't be bringing it back just because a bunch of know-nothings say so, but something better will be going there instead.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I really wish people would just be more understanding when something goes wrong or the part decides that something has to be changed. Sometimes it's for safety, sometimes it's for the bettering of the park. But either way, it's for a good reason.

You millionares with your financial affairs

I'm hoping to do a quick post, as I have a headache that's making my head spin.

The last few days have been pretty good. Today was wonderful. For some reason, the warm weather has put me in a semi-productive mood, and I cleaned out my car today. Yes, you read correctly: I cleaned my car. It looks pretty dashing, if I do say so myself. It took 2 trashbags to clear out all of my crap that I wanted to keep (like clothes and shoes), and a bag and a half of straight-up trash. But my car looks awesome. I went with David and Mary to see The Pajama Game and Jamestown High, and it was stellar. It totally blew LHS out of the water.

But enough of the good stuff. People have been irritating me lately. Well, not people. Just one person. He accuses me of not knowing how to be committed to stuff, and accusing me of letting my boyfriend fight my battles, and saying all of this terrible stuff to me, yet he doesn't realize that he's being a complete hypocrite. I tried being nice to him, I tried getting him to see my side of the story while I'm seeing his, I've tried defending him to other people, but I'm done with that. I'm done being his friend. But of all the things he said to me, the worst was when he said, "Kelsey, you don't know what it's like to be smart and want to go to college." I didn't know how to respond. He's known me for just a few months, and I don't feel like he can judge my intelligence and wants based on what little he knows about me. I nearly started crying because no one has ever said anything that hurtful to me before. I knew that what he said wasn't true. I know I'm a smart young woman, and I know that I do want to go back to college as soon as I get my life in better shape. He continued on saying that I don't know what it's like to have something that I'm truly passionate for and to have someone that you love with all of your heart and loves you back. The last part really threw me off since he's dating a minor, which probably won't last and may end up badly, as I told him when he asked me my opinion on him seeing this particular girl. Plus, I'm pretty sure I know how it feels to feel passionate about something. I wouldn't spend so much time working on songs and lines if I wasn't passionate for the theater. I wouldn't put as much money as I can into improving myself if I wasn't passionate. I wouldn't go to rehearsals after a 50-hour work week in the rain while sick if I wasn't passionate. But he doesn't go to his races if he has a sniffly nose. As for the "letting my boyfriend fight my fights" thing, Chris only stepped in when he saw how visibly upset I was on my vacation. Yet he doesn't even let his girlfriend start her fights before he's attacking others, whether they're involved or not. I feel like I'm being cast into the fire without so much as a defense, and it's so frustrating and angering. I just don't understand what I've done to warrant such attacks. I was always so kind and friendly to him. I got him a couple of the roles he really wanted, and this is how I'm being repaid. Maybe I just expected too much and now I'm just getting burned again. I don't know. But I feel like I have a right to be angry, especially when he attacks me like this during my vacation.

But now I'm going to try to sleep. I work tomorrow from 915 to 4, then Backstage from 6-10. We'll see how things turn out there. There's bound to be a lot of drama tomorrow.

By the way, Eucalyptus is fantastic for headaches. I bought a Eucalyptus-scented candle today at Yankee Candle, and I lit it right before I started typing, and my headache's almost gone.

First Legit Post In...Years...

I remember a time where I used to post to LiveJournal. Talk about a blast from the past. I read over them a few months ago when someone came back into my life and made me question everything I had worked at over the last year-ish that he had been out of my life, seeing if there was anything I wanted to go back to in my "former life." But upon reading and talking with some close friends, I realized that I had everything I wanted now, except stuff like money and my own place. But I digress. My life then was kind of depressing and longing for so much more. Granted, I still long for some of those things, but I'm a changed person, and I like who I am. Of course, I still have my emotional-psychotic times (as Chris so wonderfully helped me through yesterday somewhere between Manassas and Richmond), and I still have so much more to work for, but I'm happy with where I am in my life. So much has gone so horribly wrong for me, but it's been for the best. I've really discovered who I am and I've discovered that for the most part, I really like myself. I feel proud being able to say that because there's so many other people my age who can't honestly say that about themselves. But I think I'm getting too intense for my first post :-D

I'm pretty excited for all of the new stuff going on and coming up. I'm starting my 5th season at Busch Gardens, and as strange as it sounds to say it, I love my job at a theme park. I have to give a lot of credit to the fact that I work with some amazing people, and I've learned so much about myself in the last year of being a part of the leadership team. I have three shows going up soon (pretty much the same weekend), and I have substantial roles in two of them, so that's not only awesome, but a little overwhelming. Then I have The Sound of Music going up the weekend of July 10 where I'm playing Maria. Holy freaking cow is that cool. My boyfriend's 26th birthday is also that weekend (July 9), so I'll have more opportunities to fulfill my never-ending quest to make him feel ancient. Then two of my best friends are getting married to the men of their dreams within weeks of each other, and I'm so honoured to be part of their weddings. Then one of them is moving with her new husband to Boston, which will be weird (that's for another blog). Then in November, my mom and I are making plans to go to Germany and the dates we're looking at just happen to fall during my 22nd birthday. How cool would it be to celebrate your 22nd birthday in freaking Germany? Very. Of course, the fact that my little brother will probably be studying abroad there at the same time helps with that decision some. Then I have Christmas Carol in December (should I decide to do it again), and I think we might be starting The Secret Garden, in which I've been cast for the role of Lily.

I guess I should head to bed now since I have some major house cleaning to do tomorrow by 5. Oh the joys of living rent-free at home!